Somatic Resonance
by River Kenna
History/Timeline
Prior to somatic meditation, I spent most of my life with an overactive mind, a constant inner monologue that caused me stress, self-loathing, and a general inability to see the real world past all the noise in my head. I'd tried several other kinds of meditation, but none of them did much. I was still stuck in my head constantly. I felt distanced from my life, like I was watching it happen and listening to a commentary track on how it wasn't going well.
Starting somatic meditation helped move my attention away from my thoughts in a way that most meditation didn't. Very quickly, I was able to calm down and just be in my body for awhile — as oposed to previous meditation that felt like an activity that I was doing. With a somatic focus, "trying" dissolved.
Within a couple months of regular practice, my incessant inner monologue had become softer, more optional, less insistent. My inner critic had gone from a bullhorn in my ear to something more like emotional mood lighting.
Especially in the first year, there was some medical anxiety; becoming more sensitive to my body involved becoming sensitive to movements, pains, sounds, feelings, etc that I'd never really noticed before. I almost went to a doctor because for a few days I could feel my eyes squeaking as they moved in the sockets. — A couple of these things did end up being good to check in with a doctor about (though I could have saved time by going directly to a physiotherapist instead), but overall the medical anxiety turned out to be nothing. It's a common phase I've heard from a lot of people starting somatic work.
I started noticing the different "personalities" or "energy signatures" of various parts of my body, and was able to use them. When I needed to calm down, I could move awareness into my legs (which had a big, calm energy, like a bearded old woodsman). If I needed to engage with someone more sociably, move awareness to my chest and to the space between us (more of a sensitive and responsive "personality"). If I needed more energy, move awareness to a place just in front of and above my face. Etc.
After awhile, I started finding imagery in the body. Certain memories would come up while meditating on certain body areas or sensations. Sometimes, memories came up that weren't actually from my life, but very much had the same feel as memories. Other times, something closer to vivid dreams came up, but I was still fully conscious and alert as they played out. These inner images and scenes were very connected to subtle "energy" signatures I could feel in my body. Sometimes, urging the image and the sensation towards a resolution resolved psycho-emotional knots I'd had for years. This was a happy accident, but also deeply unsettling at first. It was strange to feel entire aspects of my personality drop away almost overnight.
After 3-4 years, there was a strong sense that it was time to move on. Somatic meditation was good and grounding and necessary — but it was also a foundation for moving on to what came next. I listened to this signal, and for myself found that what wanted to come next was a much deeper exploration of the imaginal content — all those images and memories and so on.
Outcomes
A few years into somatic practice, I'm overall much more content with my life and much more resilient to the shockwaves when things go wrong.
Inner Monologue: Inner verbal thought used to dominate my life and make it very unpleasant. It was often difficult to sleep, because my mind wouldn't stop going. Now, I can pretty much choose when I do and don't want my mind to be active. If I have something that needs working on, I can do it in my head. If my inner voice pops up and starts doing things that are less pleasant than silence, I can just say no thanks and it goes away.
"Right Hemisphere" engagement: more or less at will, I can drop into a soma-space that matches up pretty closely with various descriptions of what right hemisphere experience is like. I sometimes forget I have this option, and I go through my day feeling worried, constricted, feeling like there's a problem I need to work on — and then I remember I have soma-space available, I drop into it, and... suddenly everything is fine and manageable, and I realize that what I thought was a problem is just a thing that's happening, and I have options on how to respond to it. --There are a lot more qualities to it than just that, but that's a big one.
Less Easily Swayed: Early in my path, one problem I had was that all these different masters had all these different paths and advice and so on, and how could I listen to all of them? There had to be something to the buddhist path, cuz so many people say so. There has to be something to the sufi path, cuz all these masters say so. There has to be... on and on. I was pulled here and there all the time. Now I'm pretty comfortable ignoring a lot of it and just trusting how my soul is unfolding. I'm able to admit that most descriptions of buddhist enlightenment don't sound like anything I'd want for myself or anyone I love. I don't just accept that because the authorities shill it, it must be the be-all-end-all of a life dedicated to the sacred. I trust the soul unfolding in me.
Resilience: This is connected to the RH engagement point, but — I've had opportunity recently to see how I react under pressure when things go very wrong. And I react with much more stability and resilience than I used to. There's more space in experience, so that yes, bad things are happening — but bad things aren't all that's happening.
Resources
Reggie Ray: My top resource for somatic meditation is always the audio program Somatic Descent by Reggie Ray. (I don't recommend the book, just the audio program.) His other work is also good, but Somatic Descent is the one that really hooked me and turned meditation into something I want to do because it's so pleasant and has so much depth.
The Power of Focusing: This book by Anne Weiser-Cornell is a simple and direct introduction to Gendlin's Focusing, an excellent way of sensing into the obvious truths in the body. Highly recommended for people who want a more stripped-down version of somatic meditation without a lot of religious or woo material tagging along.
Radical Wholeness: A book by Philip Shepherd that expands into the philosophical-experiential space of what it means to be deeply embodied. A recommended read, but I'd remind you that practice is more important than reading.
Somatic Resonance: This one's my course, where I put the most compact version of everything I know about deepening into somatic experience.
